I once read that there is no love like a mothers love

That one could not embrace a love for themselves without having experienced that unique kind of love

You see mine died when I was eleven months young

Long before my life journey really began

But I never blamed God

I’ve learned that life is filled with unforeseen occurrences

I get that

What I didn’t get is memories

Memories for me to fall back and build on

In my forty plus years I’ve digressed from time to time

Storms that ranged from dark, cloudy

The worst being that steady mist

I once read that there is no love like a mothers love

That one could not embrace a love for themselves without having experienced that unique kind of love

But I credit my sisters, older cousins, and an aunt that did so much for me

Taught me how to be a man for a deserving woman

I remember my Aunt Dor saying the only thing I didn’t do for you is bring you out of my belly

No story about how and when I kicked

But I still raised some internal hell

For a long time I called my sister Ma Rose

How selfish of me because she too never really had her mommy

I once read that there is no love like a mothers love

That one could not embrace a love for themselves without having experienced that unique kind of love

I recall when our dad decided to remarry a woman that didn’t look like me

So further on in my journey I too did marry for a little less than ten years

Did I know how too give and receive love

Or was I fooled

In my heart did I fully believe that, that person would be my all in all

Who and what my heart had longed for

Divorce suggest that the answer might have been no

What about the times I combed the stores in the middle of the night

Section by section creating and living my own imagination

See I would go into boys clothing and beg my mother to buy me different outfits

Then to cap off my imagination I’d venture to the toy section

To this day I still have a collection

I once read that there is no love like a mothers love

That one could not embrace a love for themselves without having experienced that unique kind of love

No home kitchen to return to

What’s my pet name from you

Another reality is that a mother’s love holds no guarantee

She would have to know love in order to give it

Even if mine was alive and didn’t

If mine were alive and had succumb to drugs, alcohol or whatever

At least I could see her and try to make it better

I could see me in her and know me even more

Gwendolyn Enid Curtis also known as mommy

Mommy, a word I just first said

I once read that there is no love like a mothers love

That one could not embrace a love for themselves without having experienced that unique kind of love

Sometimes I wonder if those words are true

Because I once read there is no love like a mothers love

Copyright © 2009 Philip J. Curtis All Rights Reserved